College deadlines are looming. Essays to write! Questions to answer! Portfolios to organize! Having taught high school seniors for years and being the mom of a senior currently (my third and final one), I have a few things to offer.
- Calm down. Wherever you end up won’t be perfect. It won’t correct all your deep-seated flaws or create world peace. It’s just college. Some of us (myself included) got to where we were and ended up someplace else. And that was definitely not the worst thing that ever happened to me.
- Don’t badger your teacher about the letter of rec unless this teacher has demonstrated a lack of responsibility in the past. For instance, she lost your assignments (like, for real), has been late to class numerous times, or winged (wung?) one too many lessons. You get what I’m saying here. And if this is the teacher you’ve chosen to write the letter, my first question is WHY? My second question is Do you have a back-up plan? If not, get one quick.
- Begin to have that hard discussion with your parents/guardians about the feasibility of certain colleges. The difficult discussions won’t be over once you’re admitted. In fact, they may just be beginning. In my years of teaching, I’ve seen kids encouraged to apply and “just see what happens” only to learn after they got in that their family couldn’t afford the tuition. Be realistic. Also, don’t lose hope. Some colleges will give you $$$. Some colleges will give you more $$$ if you bargain.
- If someone makes changes to your college essay or says outright it’s terrible, listen to them. Remember, the admissions person who reads your essay doesn’t know you. You are a number, a number on a long list of numbers maybe. How does your essay sound to a complete stranger? Get someone who doesn’t know you well to read it. What you want to know is this: Does my essay make me sound like a person who should be thumped on the head? If so, rewrite or revise. You can do this, I promise. And please avoid the thesaurus. Using a fancy word will not make you appear smarter. In fact, I’m guessing when admissions folks see this sort of thing, they do this.
- You can’t undo your high school track record, but you can stay the course and do well right now. Yes, I’m talking about your senior year. In spite of what you may have heard, your senior year matters. Studies have shown that students who are challenged as high school seniors, perform better as college freshmen. How you end things in high school is important. Don’t believe me? Read the next one to know why.
- You are creating a reputation for yourself right now this minute. And I so get that you want to blow the high school popsicle stand already. Don’t. First of all, as a teacher I can tell you I have really, genuinely, truly loved about 95% of my students. While teachers are sort of ready to get rid of seniors (because you’re a handful and you know it!), you have also become one of our children. Cheesy as that may sound, it’s true for most of the teachers I’ve encountered. And get this. You may actually need us again, sooner than you think. Several years ago, I had a student who wanted to transfer, TWICE. Both times he needed my letter of rec. He was not a perfect kid or a straight-A kid, but I liked him. He was really funny and really smart and really kind. And if he asked for my reference tomorrow, I’d still give him one.
- Speaking of teachers, thank them for those letters of recommendation. In most cases, teachers are not required to write these letters. They do so out of the goodness of their hearts. No need to break the bank getting a gift, but a nice handwritten note is a thoughtful gesture.
- In a few weeks or months, you’ll start getting those letters. Acceptance or rejection, it’s just a part of life. As a writer I have been rejected. So. Many. Times. Mourn for a day (two tops) and then get over yourself and your disappointment and move on. Life has a way of working out, even when you don’t get what you want.
- Eat. Exercise. Live your life. Be a high school kid a while longer because like the song says, “You will never pass this way again.”
Finally, if you are still reading, smile. To go to college may seem like a right, but think of all the people in the world, women and girls especially, who can only dream of being where you are right now. Be grateful. Education isn’t a panacea (now there’s a word for your college essay!), but it’s pretty darn close.